


Hold Back The River

by preciouscinnamonroll



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/M, kinda angst, pre-pre-grey's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-16 16:20:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7275130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciouscinnamonroll/pseuds/preciouscinnamonroll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A compilation of moments of Addison, Derek and Mark in medical school, with parallels to their lives after over 10 years. Multichapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an idea that has been in my head for a while, so I finally decided to write it down. Each chapter has a parallel between their lives in medical school - because I absolutely love daydreaming about their lives in medical school, haha - and their lives years later.
> 
> Sam and Naomi from Private Practice also appear in this story, Amelia also appears eventually, but it's focused on Maddek. And I should probably say in advance that Maddison is my OTP, so expect lots of it lol. Most chapters are mainly Addek, though, I think.
> 
> This is also my fist fic. Let me know if I should continue this story :)
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy.

 

_**New York, 1988** _

    "Hurry up Mark, we're already late", Derek says, irritated.

     It was Anatomy class, and the students were divided in groups of five. Their group had already started. Damn. You really don't want to be late in your first week at medical school. Derek hated being late, but Mark didn't seem to know what the word _punctual_ meant.

    "Sorry we're late", Derek apologizes.

    "It's okay, we just started", says the redhead who is cutting the cadaver. She barely looks at him, her eyes fixed on what she's doing. When she's done, she finally lifts her eyes. The fist thing Derek notices is that they are smart eyes; somehow, they show a captivating intelligence and excitement to learn. He can't help but stare at them for a moment. The second thing he notices is that she looks like a freaking supermodel.

    "Nice cut", it's all that comes out of his mouth for a second.

    "Thanks", she responds proudly.

    "I'm Derek Shepherd, by the way".

    "Addison Montgomery".

    "Oh, right, we didn't introduce ourselves", the other girl from the group notices, laughing. "What kind of people are we?"

    They learn that the girl is Naomi Evans and the guy with glasses is Sam Bennett.

    They get along with each other quickly and when the class is over, which also means lunch time, they sit on the same table. While they're laughing and talking about how exciting the first week has been so far, Derek realizes they could be good friends. Not everything is a competition, after all.

* * *

    "How many of those have you had?", Archer points at the drink in her hand. He came out of nowhere, startling her.

    "What are you even doing here? I thought this was a welcome party for _new students_ ", Addison teases.

    "Yeah, well, and who welcomes them?", he teases back.

    He was right. The party was indeed hosted by second year med students to welcome the first year's. It was a Saturday night, and the five were gathered before Archer appeared.

    "You sure you're not here because Bizzy sent you to spy on me?" She then notices the confused faces looking at them. "Everyone, this is my brother, Archer."

    Archer doesn't find it difficult to join the group. Soon he is dancing and talking with them. About an hour later they are all drunk, which is when Archer starts to tell inappropriate jokes.

    "Alright, enough", Addison says. "Why don't go find your own friends? Stop stealing mine."

    "You're just mad 'cause they think I'm cooler than you", he smirks.

    "You know that's not possible", she smirks too. "Go. I mean it."

    He finally leaves them, and she heads to the bar for another drink. She hopes Sam doesn't follow her this time. He's been hitting on her the whole evening and she doesn't know how to tell him that she's not interested on him without hurting him, and it's making her anxious. He is a nice guy. He's just not really her type.

    She almost freaks out when she notices someone is actually following her to the bar, only to turn around and see that it's Derek and not Sam.

    "Oh, hey", she says, relieved.

    "Hey".

    They both sit while they're waiting for their drinks.

    "Just so you know, I don't think your brother is cooler than you", he says with the smile she's starting to get used to.

    She laughs.

    Their drinks are done, and they both grab them, ready to go back to where their friends are.

    "We should go back", Addison suggests. "Unless you want to stay", she teases, pointing at a blonde standing at the other side of the bar. "She's looking at you."

    He shakes his head. "She's not my type."

    "What is your type?", she raises an eyebrow.

    He grins. "Do you have something to do tomorrow night?", he finally asks, after almost a week of glances and smiles.

    So she finally kisses him. "Ask me again tomorrow".

* * *

_**New York, 2004** _

    He is late again. He is always late now every time they plan on doing something not work related.

    Addison calls him one more time, even though she knows he's not going to answer the phone, and she knows what he's going to say when he gets home – _I was stuck with a patient_ or some other excuse.

    Minutes later, she hears the sound of keys unlocking the door and Derek is home.

    "You're late", she says.

    "I was stuck with a patient. God, I need sleep"

    She crosses her arms. "I thought we were going out for dinner."

    He frowns as if he doesn't know what she's talking about, and then sighs. "Crap."

    "You forgot", she accuses, her face bitter.

    "I've had a long day at work."

    "Oh, me too", she raises her eyebrows, defiantly.

    "Look, I'm exhausted. We can go out another night", his face is irritated; his voice, impatient. He is always exhausted when it comes to her.

    "You said the same two nights ago", she sighs, exasperated. "You know what? I'm tired too. I don't have the energy to fight right now."

    "Good", his voice doesn't even come out as sharp as she expects. He's also too tired to fight.

    She wonders where did the old Derek go. The Derek with bright smiles and dreamy eyes, the Derek that made her laugh. She fears he's long gone, and if that is the case, she doesn't know what to do to bring him back. She had always been able to make him feel better almost every time he had a bad day at work. Now she fails almost every time. Maybe she has changed too. Maybe they're both different people than they used to be. And when they lie in bed later, back to back, both too proud to apologize or even say anything, she realizes she doesn't know who they are anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

 

_**New York, 1988** _

    "Okay, what's going on with you and Derek?", Naomi asks her on their way to the ladies bathroom.

    "What are you talking about?"

    Naomi rolls her eyes. "I observe things. You two got that face"

    "What face?"

    "The 'we've seen each other naked' face"

    "Fine", Addison gives in. "We went out on a date. A couple of dates."

    "How many?", Naomi raises an eyebrow.

    "Five."

    "Oh, wow. When were you going to tell me?"

    "I don't know, I guess I needed to know if this is going anywhere first."

    "That's the kind of thing you tell your girl friends, you know? So they can give you their opinion. I mean, we _are_ friends, right? It's not like we've been talking and sitting next to each other at class every day for a month now or anything", she says, fake hurt.

   "I'm sorry, Nai!" Maybe she was right though. "Fine, I'm asking you now. What's your opinion?"

    Naomi shrugs. "Well, I think he's a decent guy. A very nice guy. You should give it a try."

* * *

    "You never mentioned your father", Addison points out when they are inside of his car, after their sixth date. It is dark and a little bit cold for a summer night.

    "What?"

    "On our first date. You said you have four sisters and your mother is a nurse. You never said anything about your father. I didn't ask then because I thought it wouldn't be polite. I thought you were going to say something eventually, but you didn't, and I keep wondering why."

    "Well, uh...", he inhales deeply. "He died."

    "Oh. I'm so sorry", she blushes, probably regretting asking. "We don't have to talk about this now if you don't want to."

    "It's okay, it was a long time ago", he inhales again, the memories coming back to him. "He owned a store. My little sister Amelia and I didn't have school that day, so he brought us to the store. We were playing in the back when two guys came in. I heard them yelling at him. They wanted his watch. The next thing I heard was a shot", he sighs. "He was a good man, you know. He was honest and he loved our family more than anything. That's part of the reason I decided I wanted to be a surgeon. I want to be a good man too, I want to save lives".

    "I'm sorry", she repeats. She doesn't say anything else for a while, until she shakes her head, a bitter expression on her face. "The universe just sucks, you know? I mean, your father was a good man and he loved his family. He wanted to be with his family, but he couldn't. My father's got the chance to be with our family, to be a good father, but he's an ass and I'm not sure exactly what our family means to him".

    "Why do you say that?"

    She sighs. "He's a cheater. First time I caught him cheating on my mother, I was eight. I never told anyone. I was scared of telling anyone. And I guess my father knew that. He knew I would keep my mouth shut, because since then he's never really bothered hiding it from me anymore. I kept lying to my mother for him. When I was ten he brought me to his office and asked me to wait outside while he was having sex with his secretary, but he told me to tell my mother he had brought me to eat ice cream with him. To be honest I've lost count on how many women I caught him with. So, you know. He's an ass".

    When she says that, Derek notices she suddenly looks so different from a confident supermodel and so much more like a hurt little girl that it scares him a little, because he realizes that's a part of her life that she doesn't usually share. It's a thing that makes her vulnerable, and from what he's noticed so far, she doesn't seem like someone who allows herself to be vulnerable around anyone.

    "Anyway", she continues. "You _are_ a good man, Derek. You're honest, and sweet, and kind, and funny, and I don't think you would ever try to hurt anyone on purpose. And that comes from someone with severe trust issues, so that's saying something." She gives him a half smile, which he returns.

    They keep in silence for a few minutes until he speaks again. "So, do you trust me?"

    "Yeah, I think so", she laughs.

    "Because, you know, we just reached the point of telling each other our tragic back stories, and you know what that means, right?"

    She frowns.

    "It means we're good friends, _and_ it also means we're ready. To be a couple, I mean", he continues.

    "Oh." She smiles, and it makes her look so beautiful in the moonlight. "Yeah. Okay. We're a couple."

    "Good", he smiles back.

* * *

_**New York, 2004** _

    "Thought you said you were coming home two hours ago", Addison says, putting the dishes in the sink.

    "Surgery took longer than I expected, sorry."

    "Richard Webber just called."

    "Oh. What did he want?"

    "He offered us a job in Seattle."

    "What did you say?"

    "I said we were not interested", she shrugs.

    "Wait, you gave an answer right away? You didn't think about talking to me first?"

    She frowns. "I didn't think I had to. We have a life here. And you love your job here, Derek. You love it more than you love me."

    He rolls his eyes. "Don't start."

    "Right, maybe you don't love your job that much, maybe you just use it to avoid me."

    "I told you, surgery took longer than I expected", he raises his voice. "Complications happen, you know that."

    "It's not just that", she says, exasperated, "it's the extra shifts, it's you not taking a freaking day off, it's you never being home anymore."

    He doesn't respond. Suddenly it hits her. She knows that behavior very well: never being home, giving work excuses…

    "Derek", she begins carefully, "I need you to be honest with me."

    "Okay", he shrugs.

    "Is it really just work?

    "What the hell do you mean?"

    "Are you cheating on me?", her voice is low but firm.

    " _What?_ Are you seriously asking me that?", he is definitely angry now.

    "It happens in a lot of families".

    "Is that what this is about? You projecting your childhood traumas on me? Not everything is about you, Addison. I have patients who need me, I have a career I need to focus on now. You know how important this is to me."

    "Right", she runs her hands through her face. "Right, I'm sorry."

    She asks herself if she's becoming paranoid. "You're right, I know how important your career is to you. _My_ career is really important to me too. But I just… Our marriage is falling apart, Derek, and sometimes I think I'm the only one who's still trying to hold it together."

    "It's not falling apart", he reassures her. "We're just going through a hard time". But he doesn't look so sure about that.


End file.
